Ship of Fools

Thanks to all for the comments, and as promised I will relate the story of this boat trip.
This past year, my brother and parents bought a boat together. This is the third boat my dad has owned and he has never learned to swim. This fact, although unrelated to the story, really sums up my dad. Anyway, we took the boat out on the river. It was November, but remember we live in Florida so it was not exactly cold. My father was born in Pennsylvania and used to live in northern Minnesota, but now shivers like a chihuahua at temperatures below 72. He was decked out that day in a short-sleeved t-shirt, long-sleeved t-shirt, mossy oak sweatshirt, jeans, green jacket, and water shoes (the water shoes will have their own post one day when I have the strength).

When the wind picked up, he would put on his ski mask and hunting jacket, as seen in the original photo. At one point he was very cold and was sitting at the front of the boat doing this:

You can't tell from the photo, but he was actually pointing in the direction he wanted my brother to steer the boat and yelling instructions.

At this point we were concerned people would think some crazy man in an orange ski mask had hijacked the boat and was holding us hostage. We stopped along the way and my dad decided to start blowing the emergency whistle at my mom. They have been married for almost 37 years and you can still see the embarassment in her eyes. It's kinda cute!

Immediately after this photo was taken she told him that if he blew the whistle one more time she was she was going to make him eat it.

It was a good day.

Anybody out there? Besides Darcy?

It has come to my attention that other people visited the blog this week BESIDES DARCY! I even had some repeat readers I don't even know, and yet no comments or feedback. In a shameless attempt to elicit the aforementioned, behold the photo below and write me your own caption or explanation. You can do so by clicking on the pencil or the words "0 comments" at the bottom of the post. You can also email this post to others by clicking the envelope. The actual circumstances surrounding the photo will be posted soon.



Hint: Lest you think, "This is easy. It's a hunter on a hunting trip." Please take note of the fact that the structure behind this gentleman is not some kind of hunting blind or tree stand, but the T-top of a Sea Pro. That's right, this joker is on a boat. Oh, and he's my dad.

Kicking-blonde-dead-to-me-doctor explained

I thought that I had relayed this story to everyone, but I have received several questions lately regarding the addition of "kicking-blonde-doctor-lady" to my "Dead to Me" list. Allow me to explain.
I was driving through campus near a well-known hospital, on a four-lane, curvy road. I saw ahead, separated by more than one lane from me, three lazy doctors crossing the road outside of the designated crosswalk. I have a friend who used to work at this place and who had previously told me how often the employees were told NOT to cross outside of the crosswalk. The road curves there and most folks on this stretch have just turned. To stop for jaywalkers could mean getting rear ended. The highly detailed and accurate diagram below might create a better mental picture for you.

I was driving slower than the posted speed limit, approximately 20 mph and decided to proceed. There were no cars on the other side of the road. The jaywalkers weren't in any danger, so I continued. Keep in mind, there was an ENTIRE LANE separating me from them and they could have walked an extra 50 feet and crossed at the crosswalk.
As I approached, the blonde female doctor sprinted forward and took a running kick at my car with her pointy, high-heeled witch shoes!! I was stunned and looked back to see her bald male companion cursing and gesturing at me.

The general consensus at the office is that this has to do with my weird karma. I agree that I cross paths with more than my fair share of lunatics, but I think this is on blonde-doctor-lady's karma, not mine.