Kicking-blonde-dead-to-me-doctor explained

I thought that I had relayed this story to everyone, but I have received several questions lately regarding the addition of "kicking-blonde-doctor-lady" to my "Dead to Me" list. Allow me to explain.
I was driving through campus near a well-known hospital, on a four-lane, curvy road. I saw ahead, separated by more than one lane from me, three lazy doctors crossing the road outside of the designated crosswalk. I have a friend who used to work at this place and who had previously told me how often the employees were told NOT to cross outside of the crosswalk. The road curves there and most folks on this stretch have just turned. To stop for jaywalkers could mean getting rear ended. The highly detailed and accurate diagram below might create a better mental picture for you.

I was driving slower than the posted speed limit, approximately 20 mph and decided to proceed. There were no cars on the other side of the road. The jaywalkers weren't in any danger, so I continued. Keep in mind, there was an ENTIRE LANE separating me from them and they could have walked an extra 50 feet and crossed at the crosswalk.
As I approached, the blonde female doctor sprinted forward and took a running kick at my car with her pointy, high-heeled witch shoes!! I was stunned and looked back to see her bald male companion cursing and gesturing at me.

The general consensus at the office is that this has to do with my weird karma. I agree that I cross paths with more than my fair share of lunatics, but I think this is on blonde-doctor-lady's karma, not mine.

Making a list and checking it twice. . .DAILY

It has long been my habit to makes lists (thanks, Mom) and I find that this keeps me out of quite a bit of trouble. I'll explain. Most of us have shopping lists, lists of errands we have to run, and task lists at work. These are useful indeed, but not terribly therapeutic. The truly helpful lists, for me, are the ones I rarely allow others to see. One of my oldest practices is to keep a list of people who are making me angry. I've done this for years and only recently found out I am not the only one. Stephen Colbert made it not only cool, but gave it a name.
I also keep lists of offensive things people say to me. For example, I was once in a relationship with a man whose mother was very rude to me. We're talking years here! Instead of allowing her to provoke me, I kept a running list of her insults in a book someone had given me to use as a diary. This way, I could stifle myself without feeling like I was giving in. I always got the last laugh because when I wrote these things down I would realize just how petty her comments really were, and how glad I was that I did not perpetuate the situation by responding. Eventually the whole process contracted and the commentary was immediately funny to me. Just knowing that I was going to be able to write it down was enough to get me through whatever nonsense she happened to be spewing on any given day. Ultimately the relationship did not work out, and I would be lying if I said she did not factor into my decision, but the fact that it lasted as long as it did is due in no small part to these lists. I still cherish each one.
This plan has been repeated over the years and I now have a somewhat impressive collection of similar material from friends, family members, boyfriends' family members, co-workers, and the occasional stranger. Let me take a moment here to reassure you. If you are the kind of person who would call me with great concern and say, "Do you have a list of things I'VE said?" I probably don't. If, on the other hand, your first instinct would be to ask, "So, what's on _____'s list?" you might just have your own entry in my compilation. Either way, there must be something I like about you or we wouldn't be on speaking terms. Although I can laugh off the trivial and thoughtless things, those who know me understand I would not tolerate actual verbal abuse. Words that have truly hurt me would never appear on these lists.
Everyone can say the wrong thing now and then and most of them do not even faze me. Really. I hope that you'll forgive me for any past or future entries in YOUR lists and realize that even though I do have an evil sense of humor, any actual insults were unintentional.
That said, allow me to introduce a new feature to the blog. I have added electronic versions of the "On Notice” and “Dead to Me" lists previously only available to visitors in my office. This is the only public list I have ever kept and it has been surprisingly popular with my colleagues. Everyone checks to see if they are on it and I even had one person request to be added (I didn't get that either). It will be kept as current as possible so check now and check back often! To protect even the guilty, I will not post any last names (except for public figures). See, I’m nicer than you thought!

This is not good for my self esteem.

I have been criticized of late for not updating this blog. To satisfy possibly my only reader, I give you some fodder for mocking me.



Recently, someone sent me a website where you can upload a photo of yourself to see which celebrity you most resemble. I did just that and was astonished to find out that I most closely resemble . . .

Sharon Osbourne??? I don't mean to be rude, but damn! That woman is more than twice my age! The others are not as bad, but I really don't see ANY similarities to ANY of the women on there. Especially Serena Williams. There, I said it.

Because I am a glutton for punishment, I decided to try a photo of myself wearing my glasses. I'll admit that this is not my best photo. I thought I would definitely come up Tina Fey this time. I could not have been more wrong.

Yes, boys and girls, that's ROBERT DOWNEY JR as my number one look-alike. In fact, half the people on there are men. Possibly more than half, I can't tell who or what a "Miyavi" is.

In an attempt to discredit this evil game, I uploaded a picture of my mother. Everyone who has met her knows she is a dead ringer for Susan Sarandon. I mean, she gets asked for her autograph all the time. This should have been a slam dunk. She came up Sinead O'Connor and Gabrielle Union. Now I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Want to ruin your own day? Visit http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/celebrity-collage.php and see who you look like!

Don't worry DVR, I already did yours. All I can say is OUCH! Lance Bass! I suddenly feel so much better.

Whittier and Prince William Sound

This series is from our boat ride on Prince William Sound.


The above picture was taken just before the tunnel to Whittier. This was landscape we got to look at while they purged the tunnel of smoke.
This is a place in Whittier that had already closed down for the winter. For a place with only 192 year round residents, 23 evictions seems like a lot!

Exit Glacier and Seward

This is Exit Glacier just north of Seward. Although Jackie said it looked "like a dirty ski slope," I see it differently. This is Exit Glacier up close and personal. I could hear it cracking and dripping and was pretty anxious to get the picture taken so I could get away from it.
Okay, maybe we were a little close. . .The picture below is from the side of the road on the way south from Anchorage.
This is Seward. The town is directly behind me and they get to look at this view every day. I even met someone from FSU there!

Flightseeing in Denali

That's Mt. McKinley in the background. At 20,320 feet it's the highest point in North America. It was a beautiful sunny day and we were on our way to Talkeetna for our flightseeing tour.

The rest of these photos are from the flightseeing tour. We were supposed to land on the Ruth Glacier, but there was too much snowfall the day before and we would have had to "pack a runway" by allowing the pilot to take off and land several times, leaving us alone on the glacier for a while. The other woman on the flight with us was not in favor of this plan.

The Tip of the Iceburg

This is the view from my hotel room on Lake Spenard. Float planes take off and land on the lake all the time. There are small cabins and floatplane docks all around the lake.
This is the Barry Glacier, which is located on the Barry Arm of Prince William Sound. I have tons of pictures from this half-day cruise. We saw sea otters, Dall's porpoises, harbor seals, and a Steller's sea lion. As indicated by the ice floating in the water, it was a little chilly.
Welcome to Whittier, year round population 192. You have to drive through a 2.5 mile long, single lane tunnel shared by both directions of traffic as well as passenger and freight trains to get there. The tunnel schedule is a neccessity if your travel plans include Whittier.
Okay, this moose is clearly in the Wildlife Conservation area, but we did see 3 wild moose! A female and baby (calf?) ran at the car when I was driving on Tudor Road and Seward Highway. We saw another on the runway when we were taking off for our flightseeing tour of Denali.
This picture of me at 20 Mile River speaks for itself.

Correction: Nanci has informed me that this picture does NOT speak for itself. For those who really need it spelled out, the sign says "NO TARGET SHOOTING," . . . and you can barely read it . . . because people have been shooting at it. Whew, that was painful.